Don’t wait to feel good

Here’s a realization that changed how I approach my days.

We spend a lot of time thinking about the things we want. A better business, a bigger house, more freedom, whatever it is. And when we imagine having those things, we imagine how much better life will feel.

The reason we want any of those things is just so we can feel good. But you can feel good without having any of them.

Try this. Take a few seconds and think about the fact that your heart keeps beating, all day, every day, pumping blood and keeping you alive without you having to do anything at all. Sit with that for a moment. For me, that alone can produce a profound sense of gratitude.

This idea hit home when I read “Just Feel Good” by Andrew Kap. His whole argument is that wonderful things start happening in your life when you simply learn to feel good for a few minutes every day. But here’s the catch: while you’re doing it, you’re not trying to get anything. Not visualizing outcomes. Not wanting harder. Just feeling good for its own sake, and letting the rest take care of itself.

Is it always easy? No. Things happen in our lives, sometimes bad things. But most days, it is possible to find a few minutes to be grateful for what’s already here and just enjoy that feeling.

Later I found what feels like a more advanced version of the same idea in Frank Kinslow’s books. He talks about finding your Eufeeling: you sit calmly, observe your thoughts, and let them pass without judgment. Do that for a couple of minutes and a good feeling surfaces on its own. Sometimes it’s calm. Sometimes it’s quiet joy. The good feeling was there the whole time. We’ve just learned to ignore it.

These days I prioritize this practice more than almost anything. I still fall off the wagon like everyone else. But instead of waiting for things to arrive so I can be happy, I practice being happy whether they arrive or not.