Is it your goal, or someone else's?

I once asked Trevor Blake, the author of Three Simple Steps, for feedback on an intention (aka goal) I’d been visualizing for years. I wanted to know what I was doing wrong. He said, “I don’t think this is what you really want.”

I had a horrible sinking moment. Because I knew he was right. I’d spent years visualizing something that was never really mine.

Most advice about goals and intentions is about technique. Visualize more vividly. Feel it as done. Stay consistent. But there’s a question that comes before any of that: is this goal even yours?

Vadim Zeland, the author of Reality Transurfing, says some goals are truly yours. The thing itself delights you. Other goals are borrowed. They come from ads, status, family expectations, what success is supposed to look like. Your mind adopts them and honestly believes they’re yours.

Take a dream car. If it’s the machine you love, the drive, the sound of it on an empty road with nobody watching, that might be a true goal. If what you’re really picturing is being seen in it, that’s worth being honest about.

I’ll admit, when I first came across this idea, it scared me. It’s hard enough learning all these techniques. Now I could potentially choose the wrong goal again and waste even more years?

I could. And I did.

But if you’re feeling that same fear, I’ve been there, and it’s not as hard as it sounds. It boils down to one question. If nobody ever knew you had this thing, if nobody ever saw it, does thinking about it still bring you joy?